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“The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.” 
​― Thich Nhat Hanh 
Diagnose Your Relationship Illness: 
Which patterns are familiar?
Link: The Four Horsemen
Link: Contempt 
Link: Defensiveness 
Link: Defensiveness & Blind Spots
Link & Video: Stonewalling 
Link: Antidotes to the Four Horsemen
Link: Antidotes to Defensiveness 
Link: Tips for Turning Towards Your Partner 
Listen & Learn: Gottman Interviews on YouTube

Date Night Ideas 

Establish Your Date Night Right Now! 
Pick a night this week and then text your partner to save that evening to clear their work-oriented schedule to spend some "adult play time" with you. Date Nights are a ritual for connection that can be a "Formal Date" where you get dressed up and surprise each other or "Informal Date" where you meet at your favorite place to eat and just connect without the pressures of the household, the kids, or ongoing work demands. Those things to do will always be there whether you have someone to love or not. So, take care of your Lover, you chose them for a reason! Use your date night to tell them why they still matter! Take turns planning the dates so that one person doesn't begin to feel pressure and so that you can take turns finding ways to surprise one another and make each other smile. Need some ideas? Check out the Links below! 



"Vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity, innovation, and change." 
- Dr. Brene Brown

NationalMarriageSeminars.com/blog 
Enduring Vulnerabilities
ModernMarried.com 12 Ways to Make Marriage Last 
Modernmarried.com 4 Pillars of Trust 
Audiobook Link: 7 Principles to Making Marriage Work 
Article: 5 Kinds of Trust that Your Marriage Needs 
Marriage Quotes from The Happy Wives Club 

"A 6-second kiss is a kiss worth coming home to; a kiss with possibility." 
- John Gottman, Ph.D.
Couples Workshops 
- Infidelity, High Conflict Couples, and Addictions - National Marriage Seminar
- ADHD & Marriage Seminars 

Couples Weekend Homework Exercises

Bringing Sexy Back...

Tips to spice up your love life!!
Quiz Link: Assessing the quality of sex, romance, and passion in your relationship!!
Activity: Creating a Ritual for Initiating Sex... or No

Help! My partner does not seem to get me!

"Emotionally, we are like ships in the night..."

Link: 13 Things to Know about Loving an HSP
(Highly Sensitive Person)
Dr. John Gottman's research talks about conversations topics that block couples from moving forward. to a place of understanding, healthy decision making, or creating a shared meaning on important values, beliefs, and traditions.

​Examples of these "Conversations We Never Have" include: 
Topic: Six Arguments All Couples Have 
Video Link: How To complain without hurting your partner - Julie Gottman 
Topic & Video: Don't Let it Come to This
Video Link: What if we can't make it work? Thoughts on Divorce 
  • Others have also discussed his research and you can read or watch videos about the Four Horsemen or Couples Assignments in the links below. Ask your therapist for more information on Gottman's couples therapy research, or check out his book titles in my Self-Help Library or explore other articles from the Gottman websites.  
Link: Practice this trick to stop Criticism from the Gottman Blog
Link: A Lesson on Contempt from the Gottman Institute
Link: Conversation Skills - 3 Skills and 1 Rule 
Video Link: What do you do when softened start-up is not working? - Julie Gottman
Link: Ideas for Defensiveness & Accepting Responsibility 
www.ModernMarried.com 
Link: Building Emotional Wealth One Deposit At A Time. 
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Mistakes are like acts of self-betrayal. They're the moments when we did or said something that wasn't true to who we really are -- some moment when ego knocked us out of our shining place, when fear blocked our love, when a false sense of self prevailed, if only momentarily, and gained control of our personality. The truth of who we really are was not uncreated in that mistaken moment -- it was simply eclipsed -- and we can wait patiently for that perfect moment, certain to come around again, when we will have another chance to choose love over fear, authenticity over grandiosity, self-confidence over false modesty, and the light of our true being over the darkness of our wounded self." - Marianne Williamson 

I Think I Love Someone with ADD/ADHD. 

DR. OZ Episode: IS ADHD Ruining Your Marriage? 
Click here for a Link to Watch Episode

help. my partner has an addiction.

Link: What is Sex Addiction? 
Article/Blog: I'm a Sex Addict: When To Tell Your Family.