SURVIVING GRIEF & TRAUMATIC LOSS 
Links to Grief & Loss Support Resources
Article: You're Not Going Crazy 
Article: Bereavement Grief & Feeling Crazy
Article from the New Yorker: Good Grief by Meghan o'Rourke 
Info: The Need for Coping
Info: How Men Grieve 
Booklet: Helping Children Cope With Death
Booklet: Understanding the Grieving Child
Info: Talking to Children about death
Info: Supporting a Grieving Person 
Info: The Passing of a Child
Info: Grieving after a Murder
Info: 4 steps of grief recovery from Maria Shriver 
Link: Military Memorial Mementos at the Bereavement Store
“But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.” 
― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Site: http://www.helpguide.org/home-pages/grief-loss.htm 
Site: http://www.griefspeaks.com/id90.html
Site: http://www.journeyofhearts.org/ 
Site: David Kessler's Website: www.grief.com 
Info: Funeral Etiquette
Info: How to Include Family & Friends in Funerals
Info: Suicide FAQs
Info: Risk for Suicide 
Info: Symptoms Related to Grief & Loss
Info: Loss related to Stillbirth or Miscarriage 
Info: Common Reactions to Grief & Loss
Info: The Rights of the Dying 
Info: Sudden Loss or Death 
Link: Grief Support Newsletter
Website: Grieving for Widows 
Website: Bereaved Parents of the USA 
Reading: The World Still Cries for Meaning
Site: Maureen Joy's Healing Journey & Lyrics 
http://www.maureenjoy.com/healingjourney/
Link: "Shine On" Lyrics and Play SONG here by Maureen Joy 

Good Reads: Viktor Frankl 
Good Reads: David Kessler 

For more helpful book titles refer back to: 
Self-Help Library

Tips for Healing, Rituals, & Memorials 

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- Recover from Grief: Creative Ideas
- Resources for Men 
- Resources for September 11, 2001
- Surviving a Loss by SOARing 
- 10 ways to help kids after a tragedy 
- Planting a Tree 
- Butterflies & Blazes 
- Grief During the Holidays 
- The Passing of a Professional
- Emergency Pick Me Ups 
- Humor 
- GriefAides 
- Camp Erin for Grieving Children 
- Strategies for Coping with Sorrow 



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Grief Recovery Pyramid The emotion of sadness is a signal that you have experienced a loss. Learn to quickly and accurately recognize the emotion of sadness and use the energy it generates to help you take appropriate action and move through grief recovery at a pace that is right for you. In general, appropriately grieving loss episodes in your own life can increase the likelihood that you can truly help others deal and grieve effectively with their losses. 
Remember that you may circle back and forth or around the Grief Recovery Pyramid during the recovery process. Taken from Arlene Taylor's website:  http://arlenetaylor.org/index.php/grief-recovery-pyramid.html

Quotes: 
"Grief is not an event, it is a constant unfolding." _Unknown 


"Although the world is full of suffering, the world is also full of the overcoming of it." - Helen Keller 


"Soap is to the body what tears are to the soul." _Jewish Proverb


“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
Poetry
Link: Much Loved Bereavement Poems
Link: The Funeral Site Poems & Quotes
Link: Poems of Comfort 
Link: I'm Free Poems
Link: Poetry on Grieving 
When All That's Left Is Love 
by Rabbi Allen S. Maller
When I die 
If you need to weep
Cry for someone  
Walking the street beside you.
You can love me most by letting
Hands touch hands, and Souls touch souls.
You can love me most by
Sharing your Simchas (goodness) and
Multiplying your Mitzvot (acts of kindness).
You can love me most by
Letting me live in your eyes
And not on your mind.
And when you say Kaddish for me
Remember what our
Torah teaches,
Love doesn’t die People do.
So when all that’s left of me is love
Give me away.

Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep
by Mary Frye
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.

Poem Obtained from: CLICK HERE
From "The Prophet" by Khalil Gibran 
"And a woman spoke, saying, "Tell us of Pain." 
And he said: Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. 
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain. 
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; 
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. 
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief. 
Much of your pain is self-chosen. 
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. 
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity: 
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen, 
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears." 

Find support on Instagram at: 
@IamDavidKessler 
@everafter1023 

En Español: Recursos útiles para DUELO y PÉRDIDA

La Cadena Quebrada
No sabiamos esa mañana
que Dios iba a llamar tu nombre.
En la vida te quisimos mucho
En la muerte hacemos igual.
Nuestros corazones
se rompieron al perderte.
No te fuiste solo,
porque una parte de nosotros
se fue contigo
el día que Dios te llamó al cielo.
Nos dejaste con recuerdos de paz.
Tu amor es todavía nuestro guía,
y aunque no te podemos ver,
siempre estás a nuestro lado.
Nuestra cadena familiar está quebrada,
y nada se parece lo mismo,
pero Dios nos llama uno por uno,
y nuestra cadena se ligará otra vez.

Link: Tienda de las cosas para recuerdo
No sufras por mi estoy libre.
Estoy siguiendo el camino que dios a dispuesto para mí; tome sus manos cuando escuche su llamado.
Volví mi espalda dejando todo.
No podía estar otro día para reír, amar, trabajar o jugar.

Las tareas que se quedaron sin concluir tienen que quedar así.
Yo encontré la paz al cerrar el día.
Si mi partida ha dejado un vacio,
entonces llénalo con gozo recordando
una amistad compartiendo una sonrisa,
un beso, un sí, esas cosas que yo
también voy a extrañar.

Te deseo la luz del sol de mañana.
Mi vida ha sido satisfactoria, he
saboreado muchos Buenos amigos,
Buenos tiempo y el toque de las personas amadas. Quizás mi tiempo se ha visto muy breve, no demores mas con Dolores innecesarios.

Levanta tu Corazón y goza conmigo, porque dios me quiere ahora.
El me ha llamado y me ha liberado.

Link: Oraciones en español.
Link: El Rosario Santo

Christian & Catholic Traditions 

Link: How to Pray the Rosary
Link: Prayers for the Dying & for the Cemetery 
 Link: Light a Virtual Prayer Candle
Link: Rosary Prayers: Roman Breviary
Link: Catholic Prayers for Bereavement
Link: Religious Funeral Traditions

Jewish Rituals for Mourning 

- What is Grief vs. Mourning
- Shiva Checklist
- Planting a Tree in Israel (Shiva.com)
- Yahrzeit (Shiva.com)
- Workplace & Shiva 
- Jewish Funeral Traditions
Muslim Traditions for Grief & Loss
Link: Muslim Funeral Traditions 
Link: A Mother's Grief
Article: Loss & Grief Among Israel's Muslims

Suicide Loss 

Losing someone that you love or someone whom you are very close to suicide is the most devastating loss of all. Nothing in your life has prepared you for it. No one is ever be ready for it. These are some brief answers to some of the questions that may be on your mind:

Why did this happen? It happened because your loved one felt psychological pain so severe and unbearable that they believed could only be stopped if they died. The pain was caused by depression, which was caused by something in their life and/or in their brain. Drinking or using drugs make things much worst where they are present.

Why didn't I know? Most don't know the symptoms of depression or the warning signs of suicide. Many of those suffering depression hide it and some suicidal individuals don't show any signs of their risk or danger. Even when there is some concern it is very hard to accept that someone you know so well is in mortal danger of suicide. Being life-affirming and non-suicidal makes it hard to recognize the opposite states in others.

Why didn't my loved one tell me? Some may find it hard to ask for help or to admit to mental illness, even if it may be temporary. Some may feel shame at being suicidal. Intense pain is distracting and consuming. It makes those suffering self-centered. It takes away the sense of control. It doesn't mean that they didn't care for or love those suffering because of the loss. Tunnel vision is part of being suicidal.

Why didn't somebody do something? Even professionals sometimes have a hard time seeing that someone's suicidal. Misplaced concerns about privacy and confidentiality may deter warnings to others. There are no reliable predictors of suicide.

Why do I feel like I'm going crazy? You have suffered the greatest and most horrible emotional shock of your life. Suicide is a severe traumatic loss -- sudden, unexpected, and violent. You feel betrayed, out of control, disoriented, and hurt. This is what happens after a suicide. Nobody's ever ready for it, and it overwhelms anyone whom it directly affects.

Why can't I get over this? The loss is too fresh and you are traumatized. The first weeks and months are very hard and your emotions may be in turmoil for a long time. You never really "get over" your loss, but you eventually come to terms with it.

Why doesn't anything help me? You can be helped. Start by seeing your doctor. She or he may be able to recommend services or medications that may help. You can go to a suicide loss support group or talk to a grief specialist, counselor, or clergy person. You can find information and people to talk to on-line. These may help you.
- taken from Tony Salvatore

Grief due to Pregnancy Loss, Miscarriage, or Infertility  

Researchers say that an: 
"aggravating factor is that if the loss takes place at an early stage of pregnancy there will usually be no funeral or other rituals of mourning, and the loss may remain unacknowledged by the family and friends. Generally, the possibility of saying goodbye after the loss of a significant person is assumed to have a positive impact on the bereaved person.27,28 These issues may complicate the grieving process and increase a sense of isolation for the parents. De Wijngaards and colleagues found in a study of bereaved parents that presenting the body for viewing at home and the feeling of having said goodbye to the child were associated with lower levels of grief.29 Previously it was common practice to remove a baby quickly after stillbirth, but this policy has been updated in recent years, with the general assumption that seeing and even holding the infant helps the mourning process. Often parents are nowadays encouraged to hold and see their stillborn infant's dead body. There is, however, controversy over this practice and the concept has recently been challenged by recent studies. It has been found that women who hold their deceased infant have significantly higher rates of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, and depression even 7 years after the event.30,31 It has been reported in these publications that women who hold their dead infant have significantly higher rates of depression than those who only looked at them, and the least impact on depression was found in the mothers who did not have any contact with the fetus." (Taken from article: Complicated Grief after Perinatal Loss (2012) by Dr. A. Kirsting & Dr. B. Wagner).