SURVIVING GRIEF & TRAUMATIC LOSS
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Links to Grief & Loss Support Resources
Article: You're Not Going Crazy Article: Bereavement Grief & Feeling Crazy Article from the New Yorker: Good Grief by Meghan o'Rourke Info: The Need for Coping Info: How Men Grieve Booklet: Helping Children Cope With Death Booklet: Understanding the Grieving Child Info: Talking to Children about death Info: Supporting a Grieving Person Info: The Passing of a Child Info: Grieving after a Murder Info: 4 steps of grief recovery from Maria Shriver Link: Military Memorial Mementos at the Bereavement Store “But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning Site: http://www.helpguide.org/home-pages/grief-loss.htm Site: http://www.griefspeaks.com/id90.html Site: http://www.journeyofhearts.org/ Site: David Kessler's Website: www.grief.com Info: Funeral Etiquette Info: How to Include Family & Friends in Funerals Info: Suicide FAQs Info: Risk for Suicide Info: Symptoms Related to Grief & Loss Info: Loss related to Stillbirth or Miscarriage Info: Common Reactions to Grief & Loss Info: The Rights of the Dying Info: Sudden Loss or Death Link: Grief Support Newsletter Website: Grieving for Widows Website: Bereaved Parents of the USA Reading: The World Still Cries for Meaning Site: Maureen Joy's Healing Journey & Lyrics http://www.maureenjoy.com/healingjourney/ Link: "Shine On" Lyrics and Play SONG here by Maureen Joy Good Reads: Viktor Frankl
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Poetry
Link: Much Loved Bereavement Poems Link: The Funeral Site Poems & Quotes Link: Poems of Comfort Link: I'm Free Poems Link: Poetry on Grieving When All That's Left Is Love
by Rabbi Allen S. Maller When I die If you need to weep Cry for someone Walking the street beside you. You can love me most by letting Hands touch hands, and Souls touch souls. You can love me most by Sharing your Simchas (goodness) and Multiplying your Mitzvot (acts of kindness). You can love me most by Letting me live in your eyes And not on your mind. And when you say Kaddish for me Remember what our Torah teaches, Love doesn’t die People do. So when all that’s left of me is love Give me away. Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep
by Mary Frye Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep. I am in a thousand winds that blow, I am the softly falling snow. I am the gentle showers of rain, I am the fields of ripening grain. I am in the morning hush, I am in the graceful rush Of beautiful birds in circling flight, I am the starshine of the night. I am in the flowers that bloom, I am in a quiet room. I am in the birds that sing, I am in each lovely thing. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there. I do not die. Poem Obtained from: CLICK HERE From "The Prophet" by Khalil Gibran
"And a woman spoke, saying, "Tell us of Pain." And he said: Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain. And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief. Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity: For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen, And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears." Find support on Instagram at:
@IamDavidKessler @everafter1023 |
En Español: Recursos útiles para DUELO y PÉRDIDA
La Cadena Quebrada
No sabiamos esa mañana que Dios iba a llamar tu nombre. En la vida te quisimos mucho En la muerte hacemos igual. Nuestros corazones se rompieron al perderte. No te fuiste solo, porque una parte de nosotros se fue contigo el día que Dios te llamó al cielo. Nos dejaste con recuerdos de paz. Tu amor es todavía nuestro guía, y aunque no te podemos ver, siempre estás a nuestro lado. Nuestra cadena familiar está quebrada, y nada se parece lo mismo, pero Dios nos llama uno por uno, y nuestra cadena se ligará otra vez. Link: Tienda de las cosas para recuerdo |
No sufras por mi estoy libre.
Estoy siguiendo el camino que dios a dispuesto para mí; tome sus manos cuando escuche su llamado. Volví mi espalda dejando todo. No podía estar otro día para reír, amar, trabajar o jugar. Las tareas que se quedaron sin concluir tienen que quedar así. Yo encontré la paz al cerrar el día. Si mi partida ha dejado un vacio, entonces llénalo con gozo recordando una amistad compartiendo una sonrisa, un beso, un sí, esas cosas que yo también voy a extrañar. Te deseo la luz del sol de mañana. Mi vida ha sido satisfactoria, he saboreado muchos Buenos amigos, Buenos tiempo y el toque de las personas amadas. Quizás mi tiempo se ha visto muy breve, no demores mas con Dolores innecesarios. Levanta tu Corazón y goza conmigo, porque dios me quiere ahora. El me ha llamado y me ha liberado. |
Link: Oraciones en español. Link: El Rosario Santo |
Christian & Catholic Traditions |
Jewish Rituals for Mourning- What is Grief vs. Mourning
- Shiva Checklist - Planting a Tree in Israel (Shiva.com) - Yahrzeit (Shiva.com) - Workplace & Shiva - Jewish Funeral Traditions |
Muslim Traditions for Grief & Loss
Link: Muslim Funeral Traditions
Link: A Mother's Grief Article: Loss & Grief Among Israel's Muslims |
Suicide Loss
Losing someone that you love or someone whom you are very close to suicide is the most devastating loss of all. Nothing in your life has prepared you for it. No one is ever be ready for it. These are some brief answers to some of the questions that may be on your mind:
Why did this happen? It happened because your loved one felt psychological pain so severe and unbearable that they believed could only be stopped if they died. The pain was caused by depression, which was caused by something in their life and/or in their brain. Drinking or using drugs make things much worst where they are present.
Why didn't I know? Most don't know the symptoms of depression or the warning signs of suicide. Many of those suffering depression hide it and some suicidal individuals don't show any signs of their risk or danger. Even when there is some concern it is very hard to accept that someone you know so well is in mortal danger of suicide. Being life-affirming and non-suicidal makes it hard to recognize the opposite states in others.
Why didn't my loved one tell me? Some may find it hard to ask for help or to admit to mental illness, even if it may be temporary. Some may feel shame at being suicidal. Intense pain is distracting and consuming. It makes those suffering self-centered. It takes away the sense of control. It doesn't mean that they didn't care for or love those suffering because of the loss. Tunnel vision is part of being suicidal.
Why didn't somebody do something? Even professionals sometimes have a hard time seeing that someone's suicidal. Misplaced concerns about privacy and confidentiality may deter warnings to others. There are no reliable predictors of suicide.
Why do I feel like I'm going crazy? You have suffered the greatest and most horrible emotional shock of your life. Suicide is a severe traumatic loss -- sudden, unexpected, and violent. You feel betrayed, out of control, disoriented, and hurt. This is what happens after a suicide. Nobody's ever ready for it, and it overwhelms anyone whom it directly affects.
Why can't I get over this? The loss is too fresh and you are traumatized. The first weeks and months are very hard and your emotions may be in turmoil for a long time. You never really "get over" your loss, but you eventually come to terms with it.
Why doesn't anything help me? You can be helped. Start by seeing your doctor. She or he may be able to recommend services or medications that may help. You can go to a suicide loss support group or talk to a grief specialist, counselor, or clergy person. You can find information and people to talk to on-line. These may help you.
- taken from Tony Salvatore
Why did this happen? It happened because your loved one felt psychological pain so severe and unbearable that they believed could only be stopped if they died. The pain was caused by depression, which was caused by something in their life and/or in their brain. Drinking or using drugs make things much worst where they are present.
Why didn't I know? Most don't know the symptoms of depression or the warning signs of suicide. Many of those suffering depression hide it and some suicidal individuals don't show any signs of their risk or danger. Even when there is some concern it is very hard to accept that someone you know so well is in mortal danger of suicide. Being life-affirming and non-suicidal makes it hard to recognize the opposite states in others.
Why didn't my loved one tell me? Some may find it hard to ask for help or to admit to mental illness, even if it may be temporary. Some may feel shame at being suicidal. Intense pain is distracting and consuming. It makes those suffering self-centered. It takes away the sense of control. It doesn't mean that they didn't care for or love those suffering because of the loss. Tunnel vision is part of being suicidal.
Why didn't somebody do something? Even professionals sometimes have a hard time seeing that someone's suicidal. Misplaced concerns about privacy and confidentiality may deter warnings to others. There are no reliable predictors of suicide.
Why do I feel like I'm going crazy? You have suffered the greatest and most horrible emotional shock of your life. Suicide is a severe traumatic loss -- sudden, unexpected, and violent. You feel betrayed, out of control, disoriented, and hurt. This is what happens after a suicide. Nobody's ever ready for it, and it overwhelms anyone whom it directly affects.
Why can't I get over this? The loss is too fresh and you are traumatized. The first weeks and months are very hard and your emotions may be in turmoil for a long time. You never really "get over" your loss, but you eventually come to terms with it.
Why doesn't anything help me? You can be helped. Start by seeing your doctor. She or he may be able to recommend services or medications that may help. You can go to a suicide loss support group or talk to a grief specialist, counselor, or clergy person. You can find information and people to talk to on-line. These may help you.
- taken from Tony Salvatore
Grief due to Pregnancy Loss, Miscarriage, or Infertility
Resources & Online ArticlesSurviving & Adjustment Process
Link: Surviving Emotionally after a Miscarriage Link: Meaningful grieving after Pregnancy Loss Link: Early Pregnancy Loss & Miscarriage Info: Grief Resources from Baby Loss Comfort Grief due to Ectopic Pregnancy & related Issues Info: Ectopic Pregnancy Info Info: The Emotional Impact of an Ectopic Pregnancy Info: What to Expect about Ectopic Pregnancy Website: Dads & Ectopic Pregnancy Journal: Mending Invisible Wings Story: Kristi's Story about Loss after Ectopic Pregnancy Mums on Ectopic Pregnancy and difficulties afterwards Link: International Council on Infertility Information Dissemination OCTOBER 15 - National Remembrance Day for Pregnancy & Infant Loss Click here for link to site |