Perfectionism

Perfectionism &
Recovery from Perfectionistic Thinking

Listen HERE! Perfect Podcasts

Link: On Point Perfectionism
Link: Radio Times Perfectionism
Link: "Read My Lips" Radio - Better Than Perfect
Link: "Read My Lips" Radio - Smart Women & Love... Perfectionism

Brene Brown

Maria Pascucci:
"Understand that there is a fine line between a high achiever and a perfectionist. A High Achiever is driven by a love of learning and a sense of purpose. A Perfectionist is driven by fear-based ambition. 'I have to be perfect or people are going to find out that I am Not Worthy or Not Good Enough'."

The Pursuit of Perfection: Kate Neligan

"We need to live from the sweet spot of enoughness. The paradox of desire is that we want something outside of ourselves. But that sends a signal that we are not already complete. This creates an insecurity, and from there, we start to take action. But when we take action from a wounded place, we create results that either are unsatisfying or don't last."

Dr. Siler's "Autocorrecting Perfectionistic Self-Talk
& Tips for Recovery from Perfectionistic Mental Enslavement."

Perfectionistic Beliefs & Automatic Thoughts:

"I am an ALL or NONE kind of thinker."
"It's just not good enough."
"I am not done....yet....ever...."
"I feel like an imposter. Am I ready? Am I worthy? Am I doing enough? Am I really Good enough? Not Yet..."
"There is no way I can get everything done right."
"To be loved, I have to be Perfect."
"Expressing my feelings feels like weakness."
"I can't stop until I know I have done EVERYTHING in my power to improve an outcome."
"I can't trust anyone to get it done to my standard, so I have to do it all."
"I have to be the best [daughter/son, partner, teacher, parent, neighbor, friend, coworker, worker, person] or I am letting everyone down, and failing."
I feel overwhelming pressure to be responsible for everyone else's feelings and making sure that others are happy.
I feel responsible to fix things when others express discontent with a given situation. It's hard for me to hear without needing to fix the problem.
I become defensive and have difficulty apologizing, or discussing areas of improvement in my relationships/friendships. I am trying to be a perfect spouse/employee/friend and I feel overwhelmingly angry, hurt, or shut down when someone is unhappy with my performance.

Recovering Perfectionist:

"Hmm,. I am wasting a lot of time over-focusing on fonts and sentence structure... Is this really where my life energy is being spent best?"
"I can recognize that my tendency to hyperfocus my attention to details makes it hard for me to get started.... and contributes to procrastination and avoidance because I know How Much Energy I will need to invest to Get It Done RIGHT. This mental cycle is ineffective and inefficient. I need to just focus on starting on one small piece."
"I can embrace the beauty and freedom of being a work-in-progress.... an evolving person.... a bravely blooming human being."
"Instead of the pursuit of perfection, I will aim to stay focused on my goals and dreams, I won't accept failure as a final outcome."
"I know that I am doing my best, and that is good enough."
"Learning something new does not mean I am failing."
"Recognizing and expressing my emotions is an example of higher-order adaptive cognitive functioning."
"Not knowing everything about a topic means I am learning, it is not same thing as failing or being incompetent."
"I recognize the importance of delegating work and training others to share a standard of excellence rather than taking everything upon myself."
"Embracing an attitude of "lifelong learning" will help me to better understand people I love and the world around me. This does not mean that I am failing as a partner, manager, administrator, parent, or educator, etc."
I can learn to listen to others' feedback, feelings or perspectives without feeling personally inadequate or solely responsible to fix the situation.
Making mistakes provides me with opportunities to learn and grow as a human being across my lifespan. It does not define my intelligence or self-worth.

Perfectionism & Performance Anxiety

Musicians, Perfectionism, Performance Anxiety

Athletic/Sports Performance Anxiety

Diagnostic Considerations associated w/ Perfectionistic Traits

ADHD & Perfectionism
-Link: ADHD and Anxiety: How to Help My Perfectionist Daughter

Adult ADD/ADHD & Perfectionism
in the Home or Workplace

-Link: ADHD at Work: Fear and Perfectionism Are My Kryptonite
-Link: How Adults with ADHD Can Let Go of Perfectionism
-Link: Harness Adult ADD at Work
-Link: When 'Perfect' Is No Good At All

"It wasn't until my adult life that I learned that procrastination is a trait of the perfectionist. The perfectionist is afraid of completing a task because it won't be perfect."
-Adrienne Haslet-Davis, "Tales of a Recovering Perfectionist" TED Talk

Perspectives, Articles, & Blogs On Perfectionism

Link: 10 Ways to Tell if You Are a Perfectionist
Link: Perfection Vs Excellence

Gifted Intelligence and Perfectionistic Thinking

Anxiety & Perfectionism

"Moving Past Perfect."

Ruling Out OCD Perfectionistic Rituals vs Preferences

Autism Spectrum Disorders & Perfectionistic Preferences
-Link: Perfectionism Dialogues: Killing Yourself with Perfectionism

Other Areas of Life Where Perfectionistic Thinking Can Have A Maladaptive Impact

Sexual Performance Anxiety

﻿Perfectionism﻿ &​Recovery from Perfectionistic Thinking