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Perfectionism &
​Recovery from Perfectionistic Thinking


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Listen HERE! Perfect Podcasts
Link: On Point Perfectionism
Link: Radio Times Perfectionism
Link: "Read My Lips" Radio - Better Than Perfect
Link: "Read My Lips" Radio -
Smart Women & Love... Perfectionism

Brene Brown
Maria Pascucci: 
"Understand that there is a fine line between a high achiever and a perfectionist. A High Achiever is driven by a love of learning and a sense of purpose. A Perfectionist is driven by fear-based ambition. 'I have to be perfect or people are going to find out that I am Not Worthy or Not Good Enough'." 

The Pursuit of Perfection: Kate Neligan

"We need to live from the sweet spot of enoughness. The paradox of desire is that we want something outside of ourselves. But that sends a signal that we are not already complete. This creates an insecurity, and from there,  we start to take action. But when we take action from a wounded place, we create results that either are unsatisfying or don't last."

Dr. Siler's "Autocorrecting Perfectionistic Self-Talk
& Tips for Recovery from Perfectionistic Mental Enslavement."

Perfectionistic Beliefs & Automatic Thoughts:

  • "I am an ALL or NONE kind of thinker."
  • ​"It's just not good enough." 
  • ​"I am not done....yet....ever...."
  • "I feel like an imposter. Am I ready? Am I worthy? Am I doing enough? Am I really Good enough? Not Yet..." 
  • "There is no way I can get everything done right." 
  • "To be loved, I have to be Perfect." 
  • "Expressing my feelings feels like weakness."
  • "I can't stop until I know I have done EVERYTHING in my power to improve an outcome." 
  • "I can't trust anyone to get it done to my standard, so I have to do it all." 
  • "I have to be the best [daughter/son, partner, teacher, parent, neighbor, friend, coworker, worker, person] or I am letting everyone down, and failing."
  • I feel overwhelming pressure to be responsible for everyone else's feelings and making sure that others are happy.
  • I feel responsible to fix things when others express discontent with a given situation. It's hard for me to hear without needing to fix the problem.
  • I become defensive and have difficulty apologizing, or discussing areas of improvement in my relationships/friendships. I am trying to be a perfect spouse/employee/friend and I feel overwhelmingly angry, hurt, or shut down when someone is unhappy with my performance.   

Recovering Perfectionist:

  • "Hmm,. I am wasting a lot of time over-focusing on fonts and sentence structure... Is this really where my life energy is being spent best?" 
  • "I can recognize that my tendency to hyperfocus my attention to details makes it hard for me to get started.... and contributes to procrastination and avoidance because I know How Much Energy I will need to invest to Get It Done RIGHT. This mental cycle is ineffective and inefficient. I need to just focus on starting on one small piece."  
  • "I can embrace the beauty and freedom of being a work-in-progress.... an evolving person.... a bravely blooming human being."  
  • "Instead of the pursuit of perfection, I will aim to stay focused on my goals and dreams, I won't accept failure as a final outcome."
  • "I know that I am doing my best, and that is good enough." 
  • ​"Learning something new does not mean I am failing."
  • "Recognizing and expressing my emotions is an example   of higher-order adaptive cognitive functioning." 
  • "Not knowing everything about a topic means I am learning, it is not same thing as failing or being incompetent." 
  • "I recognize the importance of delegating work and training others to share a standard of excellence rather than taking everything upon myself." 
  • "Embracing an attitude of "lifelong learning" will help me to better understand people I love and the world around me. This does not mean that I am failing as a partner, manager, administrator, parent, or educator, etc." 
  • I can learn to listen to others' feedback, feelings or perspectives without feeling personally inadequate or solely responsible to fix the situation. 
  • Making mistakes provides me with opportunities to learn and grow as a human being across my lifespan. It does not define my intelligence or self-worth. 
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Perfectionism & Performance Anxiety


Musicians, Perfectionism, Performance Anxiety

Athletic/Sports Performance Anxiety

Diagnostic Considerations associated w/ Perfectionistic Traits

ADHD & Perfectionism
-Link: ADHD and Anxiety: How to Help My Perfectionist Daughter
Adult ADD/ADHD & Perfectionism
​in the Home or Workplace
​-Link: ADHD at Work: Fear and Perfectionism Are My Kryptonite
-Link: How Adults with ADHD Can Let Go of Perfectionism
-Link: Harness Adult ADD at Work
-Link: When 'Perfect' Is No Good At All
"It wasn't until my adult life that I learned that procrastination is a trait of the perfectionist. The perfectionist is afraid of completing a task because it won't be perfect."  
​-Adrienne Haslet-Davis, "Tales of a Recovering Perfectionist" TED Talk

Perspectives, Articles, & Blogs On Perfectionism 

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Link: 10 Ways to Tell if You Are a Perfectionist
​
Link: Perfection Vs Excellence

Gifted Intelligence and Perfectionistic Thinking
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Anxiety & Perfectionism

"Moving Past Perfect."

Ruling Out OCD Perfectionistic Rituals vs Preferences 
Autism Spectrum Disorders & Perfectionistic Preferences
-Link: Perfectionism Dialogues: Killing Yourself with Perfectionism

Other Areas of Life Where Perfectionistic Thinking Can Have A Maladaptive Impact 


Sexual Performance Anxiety 

Social Anxiety & Perfectionistic Beliefs

Bravely Blooming, LLC: Consulting & Mental Health Services
Office Location: 175 Olde Half Day Road, Suite 100-11, Lincolnshire, IL 60069
Office Location: 9711 Skokie Blvd., Suite H, Skokie, IL 60077

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